Because again, I am not interested in an orgy in ortigas, or in metronidazole-spiked gin, or in having sex while in a rabbit costume. Will be totally moving over to my neglected specialagentfoxmulder.blogspot.com! Goodbye, unfriendly friendster spammers!
1 comment December 30th, 2008
… stuff.
1. A Simpson’s original expression is now officially included in the dictionary. It’s not D’oh! but rather the more fun… Meh. ie, to express disinterest. Yay.
2. Recently went toy roundsing and pulled Smoketh along. Didn’t buy anything, but Smoketh bought… Boggle. She berated herself for her compulsive buying. I berated her for not buying Super Boggle instead. Hours of fun then followed.
3. Recently had a rummage sale in PGH as a fund raiser for the patients. Things we never thought anyone would donate… or buy: A pair of sunglasses with only one lens on with the other just a vacant rim; a toilet seat; a savagely torn T-shirt; pirated VCD’s of some F-movie. The only thing no one ever bought: unlabelled old VHS tapes. Even after we chimed in the background subliminally: “Porn! Porn!!!” no one bought them. Of course they weren’t porn. Or were they.
4. An overzealous bantay pulled me to his grandmother’s toilet to show me what her poop looks like, and I failed to come up with an excuse fast enough not to look. So went to the toilet and grandma was still there, pooping in real time. Before I could even say “let’s wait until she’s done”, grandma lifted half her butt to showcase the cesspool.
5. The best way to avoid alcohol is to pretend you’re too drunk in the brink of a seizure attack. In the recently concluded team building alcohol binging became the theme of the night and it just so happened that i was having some dyspepsic attack… or nocturnal epigastric cancer pain. Jeddy was passing around some alcohol while sticking a knife at everyone’s belly, but just one gulp would send me hurling. So i danced a seize dance. To further the pretense I draped my arms violently on the shoulders of 2 very sleepy residents and screamed, “Heeeey, having fuuuuuun?!!!”
1 comment December 3rd, 2008
I had this angel of death sort of thing when I was an intern, when some supposedly stable patient would just die whenever I was in close proximity with them. I have warded this angel of death sort of thing off through the years, after a prolonged spiritual introspection along the mountains of Banahaw (or not). Or so I thought. Because for three straight days someone just happened to die as I was passing by their bed. Two days ago I was walking along the corridor with my breakfast in a supot when the patiet on the bed I’ve just passed by convulsed and died at that very moment. Yesterday I got a better hit: I stopped by to talk to someone and the patient on the bed exactly where I stopped died on the spot. And this morning, blablabla. It would have been a total coincidence, except for the fact that I happened to be the only resident (vomit!!!) in range. And for the record, I ininitiated CPR and ACLS and all that crap in all of them, and I failed to revive any of them. I find this very interesting, because I really do think I’ve been emitting some sort of purple mutant ray of death from my thallamus (because I’ve already used amygdala in the last entry) the past few days. Because I’ve just remembered this very annoying, very evil, very abhorrent person who’ve crossed me a few weeks ago, whom I haven’t seen since that encounter. In a few days we are slated to meet again. Calling the purple mutant ray of death!!!
2 comments December 3rd, 2008
Was walking along the hospital corridors when a med student accosted me, “Hey, weren’t you the one who wrote Agape in Waywaya???”
Gears started turning in my head as I tried to process this tidbit of information and tried to recall what the heck he was talking about, and from deep in my amygdala (or something) shrieked out a disgusted “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”. Well not really, but I vomited on the floor in disgust. Well… not really, I just stood there as that embarrassing thing of the past came back and assaulted me.
“Waywaya, remember?” med student asked. “It’s the literary thing in UP Manila, you wrote it six years ago. It’s so… laswa. As malaswa as I am as a person I found your story malaswa, like for instance when the girl had to…”
“Ha-ha-ha,” I said. Said, not laughed. “That was years and years ago.”
Just to get it out of the way Agape is about this very horny dude whose guilt over masturbating never waned through the years, which only worsened as he grew older and had genuine sexual relations. In his head he would imagine an angel doing something nasty to flagellate him whenever he would… er… cum, so he tried to end it all when he was 24 years old. The less said about the nasty, sensational details the better.
“Ha-ha-ha,” I said again to fill the silence. I remember that when I wrote it I sent a copy to Therese who always reads my stories first. Therese writes huge amounts of comments on the stories, which are far more interesting and funnier than the stories themselves. She was definitely disgusted at this one, of course, being the president of the Christian organization called… Agape.
3 comments December 1st, 2008
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