Archive for September, 2008
Recently had breakfast in the college canteen and ordered a coke light in bottle. Opened said coke, tasted it, and it tasted like water, with no bubbles, obviously uncarbonated. I accosted the canteen girl and said, “patay na ang coke”. Annoyed she took the coke and replaced with another one. As I ate I saw the canteen girl shaking the bottle extremely vigorously, which of course produced some tiny tiny bubbles. She walked to me:
Canteen Girl: Ayan o may bubbles.
Me: E di tikman mo.
Canteen Girl: Ayan o may bubbles.
Me: E di tikman mo.
Canteen Girl: Ayan o may bubbles
Me: E di tikman mo.
This went on interminably for four more cycles until I realized I was in a parallel universe.
September 28th, 2008
It’s that time of the year again when I reassess my precog abilities. Early this year in place of usual interns’ evaluation I wrote predictions, and in that regard I am somewhat successful. I have correctly predicted that les will change the universe, and right after the boards she decided to be in the Doctors to the Barrios program with Niko. As a further prediction I foresee that she will discover a rare parasite in Surigao that can cure cancer and AIDS, or create a new school of thought that will make us embrace disease rather than try to cure it. I also correctly predicted that Rain and Aileen will do something great, and they are now in surg. So far no news on Donna, who I predicted will find love in a bookstore in Cologne, Germany.
September 28th, 2008
As I was walking along Orosa this 1st year med student dude approached me and stuck his hand out for a fraternity handshake. I looked at the guy, and of course I have never ever seen him before. I stared at him with a blank expression for 3 seconds, which later translated to “I am not mu. I am not phi. I’m a barb. Barbaric. As in I growl and thump my chest with hairy fists and make caveman sounds.” Dude got the message and ran away.
Seven years ago (SEVEN!) during our college graduation exercises in Diliman we saw guys handing out envelopes to future college of medicine students, inviting everyone in their fraternity. My seatmate pulled me aside and said,
“Don’t join them. In their initiations they will stick a spinal needle in your spine and suck out one hundred milliliters of spinal fluid. They will then shake you really hard so you’ll get a massive headache. They will then quiz you on the anatomy of the upper extremities.” I never knew if this were true, because when I was already in medicine no one invited me. Obviously this is because they discovered I was an alien bounty hunter–stick a needle in my neck and green, acidic, lethal goo will spurt out and kill everyone in the vicinity.
September 22nd, 2008
