Because again, I am not interested in an orgy in ortigas, or in metronidazole-spiked gin, or in having sex while in a rabbit costume. Will be totally moving over to my neglected specialagentfoxmulder.blogspot.com! Goodbye, unfriendly friendster spammers!
1 comment December 30, 2008
… stuff.
1. A Simpson’s original expression is now officially included in the dictionary. It’s not D’oh! but rather the more fun… Meh. ie, to express disinterest. Yay.
2. Recently went toy roundsing and pulled Smoketh along. Didn’t buy anything, but Smoketh bought… Boggle. She berated herself for her compulsive buying. I berated her for not buying Super Boggle instead. Hours of fun then followed.
3. Recently had a rummage sale in PGH as a fund raiser for the patients. Things we never thought anyone would donate… or buy: A pair of sunglasses with only one lens on with the other just a vacant rim; a toilet seat; a savagely torn T-shirt; pirated VCD’s of some F-movie. The only thing no one ever bought: unlabelled old VHS tapes. Even after we chimed in the background subliminally: “Porn! Porn!!!” no one bought them. Of course they weren’t porn. Or were they.
4. An overzealous bantay pulled me to his grandmother’s toilet to show me what her poop looks like, and I failed to come up with an excuse fast enough not to look. So went to the toilet and grandma was still there, pooping in real time. Before I could even say “let’s wait until she’s done”, grandma lifted half her butt to showcase the cesspool.
5. The best way to avoid alcohol is to pretend you’re too drunk in the brink of a seizure attack. In the recently concluded team building alcohol binging became the theme of the night and it just so happened that i was having some dyspepsic attack… or nocturnal epigastric cancer pain. Jeddy was passing around some alcohol while sticking a knife at everyone’s belly, but just one gulp would send me hurling. So i danced a seize dance. To further the pretense I draped my arms violently on the shoulders of 2 very sleepy residents and screamed, “Heeeey, having fuuuuuun?!!!”
1 comment December 3, 2008
I had this angel of death sort of thing when I was an intern, when some supposedly stable patient would just die whenever I was in close proximity with them. I have warded this angel of death sort of thing off through the years, after a prolonged spiritual introspection along the mountains of Banahaw (or not). Or so I thought. Because for three straight days someone just happened to die as I was passing by their bed. Two days ago I was walking along the corridor with my breakfast in a supot when the patiet on the bed I’ve just passed by convulsed and died at that very moment. Yesterday I got a better hit: I stopped by to talk to someone and the patient on the bed exactly where I stopped died on the spot. And this morning, blablabla. It would have been a total coincidence, except for the fact that I happened to be the only resident (vomit!!!) in range. And for the record, I ininitiated CPR and ACLS and all that crap in all of them, and I failed to revive any of them. I find this very interesting, because I really do think I’ve been emitting some sort of purple mutant ray of death from my thallamus (because I’ve already used amygdala in the last entry) the past few days. Because I’ve just remembered this very annoying, very evil, very abhorrent person who’ve crossed me a few weeks ago, whom I haven’t seen since that encounter. In a few days we are slated to meet again. Calling the purple mutant ray of death!!!
2 comments December 3, 2008
Was walking along the hospital corridors when a med student accosted me, “Hey, weren’t you the one who wrote Agape in Waywaya???”
Gears started turning in my head as I tried to process this tidbit of information and tried to recall what the heck he was talking about, and from deep in my amygdala (or something) shrieked out a disgusted “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”. Well not really, but I vomited on the floor in disgust. Well… not really, I just stood there as that embarrassing thing of the past came back and assaulted me.
“Waywaya, remember?” med student asked. “It’s the literary thing in UP Manila, you wrote it six years ago. It’s so… laswa. As malaswa as I am as a person I found your story malaswa, like for instance when the girl had to…”
“Ha-ha-ha,” I said. Said, not laughed. “That was years and years ago.”
Just to get it out of the way Agape is about this very horny dude whose guilt over masturbating never waned through the years, which only worsened as he grew older and had genuine sexual relations. In his head he would imagine an angel doing something nasty to flagellate him whenever he would… er… cum, so he tried to end it all when he was 24 years old. The less said about the nasty, sensational details the better.
“Ha-ha-ha,” I said again to fill the silence. I remember that when I wrote it I sent a copy to Therese who always reads my stories first. Therese writes huge amounts of comments on the stories, which are far more interesting and funnier than the stories themselves. She was definitely disgusted at this one, of course, being the president of the Christian organization called… Agape.
3 comments December 1, 2008
As i type Smoketh is talking about the date she has just finished 15 minutes ago. This puts a dent on my plans to breed her with Grass. Smoketh and Grass are destined together, and I foresee 7 babies in the future, all smoking grass at birth. However, Smoketh has just finished a date with Perfect English Speaking Dude. Perfect English Speaking Dude is a counselor/english instructor online, has an interesting family background, he went to 5 colleges, the last one being Ateneo. Prior to eating dinner Smoketh toured PESD in PGH, saying stuff like “This is the ER, this is the ward, etc.” to which PESD said, “What’s… the most romantic thing about your job?” The two of them had desert in Cerealicious, which is quite annoying as I almost went to Cerealicious and would have caught them giggling and giving each other kilig. Smoketh has just asked me if she should text PESD some thank you whatever, which i said is ill-advised as post-date messages tend to resonate with post-coital gratitude. Make your move, Grass, bring her flowers, bring her weed, bring her meth, because Perfect English Speaking Dude is bent on… raising a family, and bringing such family to Kenya to distribute canned goods.
Add comment November 26, 2008
Back in med school days every transcribers’ dream and every readers’ nightmare is this tiny portion at the end of each transcription called… Greetings! Fonts and paragraphs and spacing allotted for the actual lecture transcriptions are meticulously arranged in such a way as to make a lot of excess room for… Greetings! Not knowing of course that such greetings will document… heartaches!!! Heartaches, indeed, for those who found love in the anatomy dissection table and lost it all afterwards. Because truly, all that formalin must have distorted everyone’s concept of love or something. Such greetings also document a multitude of cringe-a-thons. For instance: DETOX, anyone? Anybody want to go DETOX in ROB after the ANATOMY EXAM? Speaking of which, is the term DETOX still in current use? Or did it just die out the way of CS (Counterstrike), Diner’s, and Backseat Boys?
So in the spirit of those old transcription greetings, here are some rather kitschy… greetings!!!
Hey, Myra and Ditz! Can’t believe you watched Coldplay. And in such close proximity to the stage too. I should go there sometime, then we can watch Keane and Coldplay, and in the summer go to Cabo! Cabo!!! You know like we can go to the prom and all and I can introduce you to Stephen and stuff and then you’ll probably make out in the car and stuff! Hey, Jeff and Tin, can’t believe you’ll be starting in December already! I hope you don’t test positive for syphilis the way I did! Hey, Mar, shall be lugging around that huge green audit bag again soon to FT, hope you’ll still be W&A to FT in GJ. Hey, Kathy and Jhana! I would just like to say that I quit lurring as of ten minutes ago, but I’ve just changed my mind and am lurring right now!!! Hey Mrs. Therese! Hope you’re all well-recovered and sound, we should eat isaw and kidneys again soon! Hey, non-Kathy IM residency batchmates! None of you is reading this, so I can freely write about you in this blog!!! In gossipy non-integrity!!! Haven’t done it before, but the potential for callroom dirty stories is endless!!! Hey Len-Len and Abe! May you continue to live the American Dream! Hey Les, Rain, Calvin, Niko, and your entire block! May you all find love in some bookshop in Germany or Vienna or something like Donna!!! Heya, Queenie! I am yet to look for a bowtie and bling bling!Hey, Netty Jao! I’ve been looking all over—where the heck are you?!?
There. Kitschy much, eh?
3 comments November 7, 2008
For some reason I always seem to be walking in on a porn shooting in progress. You’ve probably read about my misadventure with the toweled guy who can beat me to a pulp, and this called to mind another porn movie in progress a few months back. And of all places, Glorietta 4. Hear that, authorities and morality police? Glorietta 4, specifically, the restroom in Food Choices, the one near Bizu. Maybe because I was there so early at around ten am so the performers felt more at home, but as I was checking my teeth I noted in the mirror that the two guys peeing behind me were checking each other’s cocks out. And they started… (I’m still quickly deciding if this blog entry is GP, R-rated, or X… okay maybe X)… they started… they started… jerking off. Themselves. Themselves, okay, not each other, you lewd, lewd people. So how did you know they were jerking off, you ask? You are absolutely right, I can’t be totally sure. Maybe they were just having a synchronized simple partial seizure of the right forearm.
One of the dudes was in a corporate attire, and I can only imagine what stuff were in his attaché case. The other one was in a baby tee. Maybe this is some sort of a new quickie business transaction that is not as messy, and one you can do on your cigarette break.
But this is not hardcore enough. Next time I want to walk in on a genuine snuff movie.
Add comment November 7, 2008
1.You’ve probably heard about the Secret Invasion storyline in Marvel where a race of shape-shifting aliens, the Skrulls, are infiltrating the Marvel Universe and replacing important super heroes and political figures. Yes, the one where GMA had a cameo thanks to the Pinoy artist and was revealed as a Skrull after all, which explains a lot of things. But more importantly, Spider Woman is the Skrull Queen! Even for those of you who don’t read comics you know who Spider Woman is. She had a cartoon in the 80’s. She is Jessica Drew, the one with venom blasts, the one who flies, the one with armpit webs. So she is the Skrull Queen. Secret Invasion concludes next month.
2.Jonathan Kent, Clark’s dad, is dead. He is killed in the recently concluded Brainiac storyline in Action Comics. Also in Action, the Kryptonian Bottle City of Kandor is finally free and grown back to its original size, but is now situated in Earth, so this could spell a lot of trouble with a hundred thousand powerful Kryptonians roaming around.
3.Captain America is still dead. He died in Captain American #25 last year, but replacing Steve Rogers is Bucky, his sidekick back in World War II, who is revealed to be alive.
4.This volume of The Legion of Superheroes as relaunched by Mark Waid in 2003 is finally getting cancelled come issue #50. It just couldn’t get its footing. Jim Shooter took the helm recently which initially made me all giddy (Shooter wrote those great Legion stories in the 60’s including the death of Ferro Lad when he was still 13 years old), but failed to churn out good stories. Obviously, the original Legion as being masterfully written by Geoff Johns in Legion of 3 Worlds should take over the monthly ongoing.
5.Batman R.I.P. is coming to a close. The story as written by Grant Morrison is slow-paced, bizarre, and all sorts of weird. And I don’t get it.
6.Sometimes the best person for a woman’s job is a man. Specifically, an Amazon’s job, because Wonder Woman has been deemed a failure in her mission of peace and understanding. So who shall replace the Amazons but… The Manazons!!! It all sounds stupid, but still looking forward to it.
7.Final Crisis is still… so… very… slow.
8.This is actually old news, but the Martian Manhunter is dead. He was killed by his old nemesis the Human Flame or Torch or something, under the supervision of the mysterious Libra. The Martian Manhunter, for some reason, never really had a lot of fans despite the fact that he is the only character who has ever been in every single incarnation of the Justice League ever, so I predict that he won’t get resurrected anytime soon.
9.So we all know that the spirit of God’s Vengeance is The Spectre. Apparently, there is also a spirit of God’s Mercy… Radiant!!!
10.And in the pages of the Justice Society of America, a deity-like being called Gog is walking the planet and sowing good cheers and stuff, but the JSA is not convinced. This is still part of the Kingdom Come sequel/Magog/Gog storyline that seems to be going on forever. Just kill Gog already! And fire those thirty other members of the JSA!!!
Add comment November 7, 2008
Receiving PFs (professional fees, sort of) from charity patients is fun. Because you feel like your work is appreciated, and that you’re doing something worthwhile, etc etc etc. but more importantly, because it feeds your hunger… for food. Specially if you haven’t had lunch or even breakfast yet. I’ve received a lot of different stuff from a whole Tupperware of pichi-pichi to a ham sandwich with Zest-O, but the best I’ve received so far and it couldn’t have come at a better timing is a chocolate house, ie, a huge amount of chocolate shaped in a form of a house. Very quickly I tried to dispose of the remaining patients, just so I could ravenously eat the entire house by myself, but after eating a portion of the roof and the wall I started getting DKA so I shared it with all the other residents in the clinic, who ravenously feasted on the floor, the windows, the gate, the pet dog, and the base which I think is made of cardboard and inedible. Since I don’t think any of my continuity patients is reading this, in the spirit of hunger here are some… fantasy PFs:
1.pizza with garlic, cheese, olives, chives, and tomato. Like the one our block had in Community Med in 2005, I can’t quite recall the name of the place but it’s near the place where they sell a lot of shoes and sandals.
2.a huge tub of typhoid-laced ice scramble with a generous topping of Brown Cow and milk powder on top
3.isaw from Ilang-Ilang in UP Diliman.
4.Termoonator or Nutting Hill. With extra granola. And mangoes. Blockbuster.
5.Kanin at ulam
Hungry… just so very… hungry.
1 comment November 7, 2008
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